Old-Timey

Tonight they were showing a movie in the park down the street from me.  It had been a lovely spring day, so an outdoor movie sounded pretty sweet.  Then I thought I'd get extra fancy and even make popcorn before heading over - like, the real make-it-on-the-stove kind of popcorn, with butter and the works.  So off to the grocery store I went.

After strolling up and down the aisles several times, I couldn't find it anywhere.  I asked the guy working, "Excuse me, could you please tell me where I can find popcorn kernels?"

"Oh, sure, microwave popcorn?"

"Oh, no, actually just the kernels.  Like the old-timey kind you make on the stove."

This was clearly a concept he had never before considered because he just stared at me for awhile.  "Well, I'll just show you all the popcorn we have."

OK, fair enough.  So I followed him to the microwave popcorn section and there, way up on the top shelf, was a jar of popcorn kernels.  I pointed them out.  "Oh, yeah, those.  That's perfect.  Thanks."

He seemed a little shocked that they carried such a thing, but he got them down for me and I went on my merry way.

Back at home, I got right to the business at hand - oil heating on the stove, kernels measured out and warming in the oil, butter melting.  All was going well for a time.  The popcorn had just begun to pop so I was giving the pan a little shake, as you do.

Then, suddenly, a rogue kernel decided to jump out of the pan, un-popped yet scalding hot, and fly directly down the front of my shirt and just stick there.  So with one hand holding a pan of burning hot oil , I began to jump around while trying with the other hand to un-stick the scalding hot kernel from my chest.

A couple other kernels must have been amused by this, because they followed suit and also took a dive down my shirt.  More jumping around followed, but at least I had the sense to put the pan down.  Man, those little suckers were HOT!

Things settled down, and the final result was more or less successful.

By that time it had started to rain a little, so I took my old-timey self and my old-timey popcorn, climbed into bed and watched an old-timey movie on PBS ('Holiday' with Katharine Hepburn and Cary Grant).

The girl got the guy, and this girl got her popcorn.  All is well.